I like to have a specific purpose for everything that I do. And I did so with this blog too. But as time went by, it got lost somewhere. For some time, I even forgot it existed. There are always things that we take up in high spirits, when they seem nice and fun to do. And I don’t do anything unless I am doing it in high spirits. But when the excitement has ended and the fun is gone, the purpose we began it with either seems to have disappeared or be replaced with another one. But like old friends, if it was really meaningful and we really needed it, it comes back to us. It means something to me and I do need it. And so, I am making a commitment to not only keep it alive but also to give it more time than I have done before. A lot more.
The value and importance of having a purpose is also reflected in our day-to-day relationships with people. However, that goes unnoticed, or is even avoided many times. We are friends with so many people that we have no time to spend to decide why we connect with each one of them. It seems like a silly thing to do to many of us. And that is why when someone is about to leave us, we begin to understand their value more in our life. Because that is the time we, not out of choice but force, begin to think about what purpose that person had in our life. We hardly are aware that had we done that before, the need for that person to leave would never have arrived.
Or it can be a little less dramatic. We have a fight or even a small argument with someone. And like most fights, at the most fundamental level, it’s purpose is to prove that we are right no matter what it might seem on the surface. At that point, if you stop for a moment, zoom out of how you are currently watching the situation, look at it from a third person’s perspective, you begin to realize how silly it is. Silly and unnecessary. And for that to happen, you need to be clear about your purpose for being with that person. Is he/she someone you work with and you need to have a co-operative relation with? Is he/she a friend that you value and you can’t afford to hurt? Is he/she someone you love and well, that’s enough for a purpose, isn’t it? Only when you are consciously aware of and very clear about this, can you begin to view things from a different perspective than you always did.
A wise teacher taught me this sometime ago, that we are neither totally right nor totally wrong ever in a fight with someone. But we all like to think we are right, don’t we? Sometimes so much so that we may risk losing someone we love rather than admit being wrong. And all that, no matter who is more wrong, we or the other person. The funny thing here is that it does not even matter. Being right or wrong is not even what we need to be. If we had our purpose clear and we remembered it, we’d understand that we love them despite their wrongs. It might not even be wrong in their eyes at times, so what? Would we rather have a friend with things that we don’t like very much or be alone altogether? And no matter how many friends we have, losing one still makes us lonely, doesn’t it?
I make a promise to myself today. To remember the purpose I am with anyone before reacting to anything they do that arouses me. Because I loved them for a reason. And that is more important than anything else.