People come and people go. Anyone who thinks someone can stay for life is a fool. And anyone who tries to keep people is a bigger fool. We are all free spirits and we like to come and go.
It is not great wisdom to understand that people change with time and so do their needs, but common sense. And he who tries to control it will suffer. For bliss lies in acceptance and not in resistance.
I like to believe that I am man with high standards, both when it comes to things and people alike. What that means is that I have clear boundaries in my head and that I know what I want from people. And at the most fundamental level, that is a wonderful thing. I set my boundaries and you set yours. If we respect that, we are friends. SImple. That is, however, only one side of the spectrum.The other side being understanding and forgiving other people’s faults.People who just have high standards and cannot tolerate much are on one extreme, like I have been for a while now. They turn out to be too fixed in their ways and seem arrogant to others. People on the other extreme seem like saints, forgiving everyone for everything. Of course, not many people exist here you might believe. But if you try to look around, you’ll find many who follow such a thing. People who take everything from others, the good and the shit, and never complain. Wisdom lies in knowing about the spectrum and your position on it. And then being able to turn the knob ever so slightly to adjust according to the situation.There is no right way to deal with any situation we face. There is no wrong way either. Understanding how much of a boundary we need to have our standards met and how much we are willing to compromise on it for the limitations of the others leads to fulfillment.
All this wisdom comes to me through a friend, who due to her own limitations had done things that made her fall short of my expectations. What seemed right to me then, to let her go owing to my disappointment, seems now something that could have been avoided. But it needed to happen. Remember that everything has a reason. When she came back a couple of days ago, I didn’t think twice before talking with her. A lot had changed since the last we talked. The problems had dealt with themselves, so to say. I felt no need to express my disappointment for what was done long ago even when it was never displayed clearly before. She felt no need to apologize. There was not a reason to go back to even discuss the past. Not one. She came to me with some news that was favourable for me. And I took it as a sign, which calls for a different post which will follow this one very soon. Within a minute of talking, it felt like nothing had really changed. And really, nothing had.
He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.
John, 8:7 (KJV)
How can I not forgive someone and still consider myself worthy of forgiveness when I do something wrong? How can I not understand and expect to be understood? How can I not offer love and respect and expect to receive it?