Category: Love

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People come and people go. Anyone who thinks someone can stay for life is a fool. And anyone who tries to keep people is a bigger fool. We are all free spirits and we like to come and go.

It is not great wisdom to understand that people change with time and so do their needs, but common sense. And he who tries to control it will suffer. For bliss lies in acceptance and not in resistance.

I like to believe that I am man with high standards, both when it comes to things and people alike. What that means is that I have clear boundaries in my head and that I know what I want from people. And at the most fundamental level, that is a wonderful thing. I set my boundaries and you set yours. If we respect that, we are friends. SImple. That is, however, only one side of the spectrum.The other side being understanding and forgiving other people’s faults.People who just have high standards and cannot tolerate much are on one extreme, like I have been for a while now. They turn out to be too fixed in their ways and seem arrogant to others. People on the other extreme seem like saints, forgiving everyone for everything. Of course, not many people exist here you might believe. But if you try to look around, you’ll find many who follow such a thing. People who take everything from others, the good and the shit, and never complain. Wisdom lies in knowing about the spectrum and your position on it. And then being able to turn the knob ever so slightly to adjust according to the situation.There is no right way to deal with any situation we face. There is no wrong way either. Understanding how much of a boundary we need to have our standards met and how much we are willing to compromise on it for the limitations of the others leads to fulfillment.

All this wisdom comes to me through a friend, who due to her own limitations had done things that made her fall short of my expectations. What seemed right to me then, to let her go owing to my disappointment, seems now something that could have been avoided. But it needed to happen. Remember that everything has a reason. When she came back a couple of days ago, I didn’t think twice before talking with her. A lot had changed since the last we talked. The problems had dealt with themselves, so to say. I felt no need to express my disappointment for what was done long ago even when it was never displayed clearly before. She felt no need to apologize. There was not a reason to go back to even discuss the past. Not one. She came to me with some news that was favourable for me. And I took it as a sign, which calls for a different post which will follow this one very soon. Within a minute of talking, it felt like nothing had really changed. And really, nothing had.

He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

John, 8:7 (KJV)

How can I not forgive someone and still consider myself worthy of forgiveness when I do something wrong? How can I not understand and expect to be understood? How can I not offer love and respect and expect to receive it?

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I sowed a seed, and watered it with care,
Gave it all it could possibly need.
Little did I know, you tiny seed
How could you grow, in a land that was bare.

It died as easily as one can.
And with it died the sower.
Our little romance is over,
Over before it even began.

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No more, no more,
What I feel shall live no more.
A child’s heart is innocent, and his eyes pure.
And when it breaks, what in the world can cure?

I can’t wait for ol’ time to come and aid,
I make sure, for all my transgressions, I’ve paid.
The life of the wretched miser I leave behind
Only peace, now, I seek to find.

No more will I weep, for what happened long ago,
What’s true now, may not be so to-morrow.
I feel no need anymore, for my pain to show,
No more will my heart feel joy in it’s never-ending sorrow.

The joys of the future, I am unfamiliar with,
What was my reality, seems now only a myth,
Closer to me are the sorrows that never leave,
The time is nigh that from them, I, myself relieve.

You shall see me no more around those gardens of romance,
I shall have not time for a little merriment and dance.
Meaningless pleasures from things trivial, do people derive,
For a higher goal, I shall rather set my heart to strive.

The man shall grow, he shall grow stronger every day.
He shall face with courage and dignity,
Everything that happens to come his way.
Anything that holds him back and restrains,
Will have to leave, and cannot stay.
From his fears, and oh how many!
He shall not find an excuse to walk away.
When dark clouds swallow the sun and its shine,
Of light, he shall make himself, a ray.
He shall have his head up high and proud,
He shall be free, come what may!

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When I was a kid, I read something in an article that one of my teachers gave me and it stuck in my mind. It’s one of those things that you learn as a kid and they stay with you for life. It said,

People come in to your life for a season, and for a reason.

It takes time and for many people even years to understand this simple, basic fact of life. That is why no matter how many friends you might have fallen apart with or how many break-ups you might have had, when the next one follows, you feel exactly like you felt when the first one happened – confused and frustrated. If we all knew and accepted this from the beginning, it will give the relationship, personal or business, a whole new perspective.

When some people leave you or it so happens that you have to leave them, instead of thinking “what went wrong”, it sometimes helps if you think, “what did I get to learn from this experience with him/her”. But it’s not always easy because it’s not always very obvious. Sometimes it requires you to dig deep in to your psyche, look at yourself from a different perspective, try to uncover things that lie deep within hidden because you’ve found no reason yet to pry them up. And it takes time. But if you are firm in your quest and patient with the results, you’ll have the epiphany you’re looking for.

I had mine before the sun set yesterday. The setting of the sun is such a symbolic event. It signifies that you must slow down, stop doing what you’ve been doing all day and decide to take some rest. With the rest comes the contemplation that is necessary to help you begin your day again when the sun will rise. The darkness that it causes hides everything that lies far in the horizon and lets you look at what’s up close, so you can focus. That is necessary because we look so much in to the future waiting for it anxiously that we fail to see what’s here already and fail to acknowledge it at times, let alone appreciate it. It’s easier for many of us, like myself, because it lets you feel like you can ignore all your vices today and hope for a better future. We think we can become better versions of ourselves if we leave all the bad things about us behind and become what the future wants us to. What we don’t realize is we can’t leave anything behind unless we actually accept and acknowledge that it exists. Good or bad, what’s in you is you and what you do is you. You can never run away from that. The only way to find peace with it is to acknowledge it, accept it and try to understand what needs to be done to better it.

I’ve been accused a million times for being selfish. And rightly so. I never denied being one but that should not mean that I took pride in it. Picking the best for myself always when I am sharing something with someone was my habit. I always needed to be taken care of first before I can take care of you. My needs need to be fulfilled first or else yours will go unacknowledged. I say this because it’s all true, even at the risk of making an understatement. But that does not mean I was a prick. I’ve been helpful to people around me and pretty generous at times. But deep down inside me, I knew the only thing that mattered to me was me. About a year ago, I made a phone call one evening to talk to someone desperately because I was feeling down. It happens to all of us at times when we just want someone to understand how we are feeling and give it some time and get over it. Doesn’t it? What I was told, however, didn’t seem to be of any help to me at that time. I was told the reason that I was sad for was because I paid too much attention to what I wanted. I gave too much importance to myself. And that I should forget about myself for some time and try to make others around me happy. And I thought I couldn’t do that unless I was happy myself first. I still can’t. It’s just easy logic. If I have what I want and I am happy, I’d want to make others around me happy as well because it would make sense to me. But if I am not happy myself, how can I focus on others? It just does not seem palpable.

Sigh.

I guess sometimes we have to understand that happiness is not everything that we live for and that there’s something greater than achieving that. It’s so hard to put others first when you know you might never get a chance for yourself if you let them have this. It takes a lot of strength to still let them have it. And it becomes a lot easier if you love them. I guess love is the answer then.

I know it is.

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Bring back colours in life

It was Saturday when I was at SIES for an event. While coming back from there that evening, I felt a little nostalgic. Well, not just a little. I remember I was with my friend, Rahul, and we were having some interesting conversation and suddenly as I entered the station premises, something stuck in to me. I could feel it you know. Do you ever feel something when you go to places you’ve spent a lot of time in the past? I’ve heard about magnetic power points where intense emotions have occurred frequently for a long time. The environment drops, you see just what you saw in the past everywhere, you hear only what you are thinking and nothing else. I don’t think I need to explain. I hope you will understand.

Continue reading →

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With the passage of time, you have become me and I’ve become you. When there was strangeness, there was still a comfort, a knowingness and the surprise how alike we were. With time, we dug out the best and worst in each other. And then we separated our ways. It is still the same now and not a thing has changed. Because you are what I was and I am what you were. And I have to be what I wanted to be and so do you. And you were what I wanted you to be most times and I was what you wanted me to be most times. If you believe in time, this is how it will confuse you. I believe in you. And I believe that you will soon know what I knew back then, because after all you are me and I am you. Yes, I understand one is all and all is one.