When I was a kid, I read something in an article that one of my teachers gave me and it stuck in my mind. It’s one of those things that you learn as a kid and they stay with you for life. It said,

People come in to your life for a season, and for a reason.

It takes time and for many people even years to understand this simple, basic fact of life. That is why no matter how many friends you might have fallen apart with or how many break-ups you might have had, when the next one follows, you feel exactly like you felt when the first one happened – confused and frustrated. If we all knew and accepted this from the beginning, it will give the relationship, personal or business, a whole new perspective.

When some people leave you or it so happens that you have to leave them, instead of thinking “what went wrong”, it sometimes helps if you think, “what did I get to learn from this experience with him/her”. But it’s not always easy because it’s not always very obvious. Sometimes it requires you to dig deep in to your psyche, look at yourself from a different perspective, try to uncover things that lie deep within hidden because you’ve found no reason yet to pry them up. And it takes time. But if you are firm in your quest and patient with the results, you’ll have the epiphany you’re looking for.

I had mine before the sun set yesterday. The setting of the sun is such a symbolic event. It signifies that you must slow down, stop doing what you’ve been doing all day and decide to take some rest. With the rest comes the contemplation that is necessary to help you begin your day again when the sun will rise. The darkness that it causes hides everything that lies far in the horizon and lets you look at what’s up close, so you can focus. That is necessary because we look so much in to the future waiting for it anxiously that we fail to see what’s here already and fail to acknowledge it at times, let alone appreciate it. It’s easier for many of us, like myself, because it lets you feel like you can ignore all your vices today and hope for a better future. We think we can become better versions of ourselves if we leave all the bad things about us behind and become what the future wants us to. What we don’t realize is we can’t leave anything behind unless we actually accept and acknowledge that it exists. Good or bad, what’s in you is you and what you do is you. You can never run away from that. The only way to find peace with it is to acknowledge it, accept it and try to understand what needs to be done to better it.

I’ve been accused a million times for being selfish. And rightly so. I never denied being one but that should not mean that I took pride in it. Picking the best for myself always when I am sharing something with someone was my habit. I always needed to be taken care of first before I can take care of you. My needs need to be fulfilled first or else yours will go unacknowledged. I say this because it’s all true, even at the risk of making an understatement. But that does not mean I was a prick. I’ve been helpful to people around me and pretty generous at times. But deep down inside me, I knew the only thing that mattered to me was me. About a year ago, I made a phone call one evening to talk to someone desperately because I was feeling down. It happens to all of us at times when we just want someone to understand how we are feeling and give it some time and get over it. Doesn’t it? What I was told, however, didn’t seem to be of any help to me at that time. I was told the reason that I was sad for was because I paid too much attention to what I wanted. I gave too much importance to myself. And that I should forget about myself for some time and try to make others around me happy. And I thought I couldn’t do that unless I was happy myself first. I still can’t. It’s just easy logic. If I have what I want and I am happy, I’d want to make others around me happy as well because it would make sense to me. But if I am not happy myself, how can I focus on others? It just does not seem palpable.

Sigh.

I guess sometimes we have to understand that happiness is not everything that we live for and that there’s something greater than achieving that. It’s so hard to put others first when you know you might never get a chance for yourself if you let them have this. It takes a lot of strength to still let them have it. And it becomes a lot easier if you love them. I guess love is the answer then.

I know it is.

Bring back colours in life

It was Saturday when I was at SIES for an event. While coming back from there that evening, I felt a little nostalgic. Well, not just a little. I remember I was with my friend, Rahul, and we were having some interesting conversation and suddenly as I entered the station premises, something stuck in to me. I could feel it you know. Do you ever feel something when you go to places you’ve spent a lot of time in the past? I’ve heard about magnetic power points where intense emotions have occurred frequently for a long time. The environment drops, you see just what you saw in the past everywhere, you hear only what you are thinking and nothing else. I don’t think I need to explain. I hope you will understand.

Continue reading

Hmm.

I wanted to write a post yesterday on your birthday, Karen. I couldn’t.

It had something to do about me being grateful. For a lot of things.

If you search for “Rishi Talreja” on google, this essay that you wrote months ago shows up on the first page(8th in list). There’s another story associated with it. And there have been numerous conversations between the two of us which has led to many inspiring things. One particular being where we talked about how we can focus on a lot of things every day and still find time for our work. I”ll be writing a separate post on that later this week.

I wanted to discuss this and more in detail. But time went by and even today seems to be coming to an end. I couldn’t write it today morning. So, before this day ends, I wanted to write something to make me remember later. I’ve decided to do things more than planning to do things. And this is one such thing. I am too sleepy right now to continue.

Thanks. For a lot of things.

P.S. You still remind me of my childhood. #TimeTravel

One of the most interesting movies I’ve ever seen is Before Sunset (A sequel to Before Sunrise, which is great too by the way). In the movie, Celine has this quote,

Memories are wonderful things, if you don’t have to deal with the past.

I found that very funny when I first heard it in the movie. And I’ve seen that movie many times. I don’t know if it was there in the movie just for fun or if it had a deeper meaning. It sure does for me now. Continue reading

With the passage of time, you have become me and I’ve become you. When there was strangeness, there was still a comfort, a knowingness and the surprise how alike we were. With time, we dug out the best and worst in each other. And then we separated our ways. It is still the same now and not a thing has changed. Because you are what I was and I am what you were. And I have to be what I wanted to be and so do you. And you were what I wanted you to be most times and I was what you wanted me to be most times. If you believe in time, this is how it will confuse you. I believe in you. And I believe that you will soon know what I knew back then, because after all you are me and I am you. Yes, I understand one is all and all is one.

Okay! What’s a good way to start writing a journal? A public journal? Guess what? I don’t know! But what I know is there is no right or wrong way to do it or for that matter, anything. I can either think and be smart or not think twice and be honest. I prefer the latter. Welcome to my world. I am living my life right now and documenting it for others to see. I don’t know why they’d want to but then we all do things just because. Here’s to life, to love and laughter!