Bring back colours in life

It was Saturday when I was at SIES for an event. While coming back from there that evening, I felt a little nostalgic. Well, not just a little. I remember I was with my friend, Rahul, and we were having some interesting conversation and suddenly as I entered the station premises, something stuck in to me. I could feel it you know. Do you ever feel something when you go to places you’ve spent a lot of time in the past? I’ve heard about magnetic power points where intense emotions have occurred frequently for a long time. The environment drops, you see just what you saw in the past everywhere, you hear only what you are thinking and nothing else. I don’t think I need to explain. I hope you will understand.

I’ve been sad since then. So sad that it actually started making me feel funny. I had a conversation with a friend who was trying to cheer me up by sending funny videos, which only got me annoyed. But what followed was a very interesting conversation. First of all, despite how hard it seemed, I confessed to that friend that I was sad that day. She was genuinely concerned and tried to soothe me. I was so sad it made me laugh. And I thought sleeping might make me feel better, because it usually does when I sleep for over 12 hours, but it didn’t. I was completely okay the other day. But the sadness was lurking in the back of my mind and I wasn’t ignoring it, I was just comfortable with it by now.

A year ago, minus three months, I made a mistake. And I’ve been punishing myself ever since. I was so ashamed of myself, and not of just what I did, that I was trying to hide my face by burying it deep in to the ground. I buried deeper and deeper for months. It was only yesterday that I realized that after a point, I was supposed to come out of the other side of the planet. It was only logical! And as soon as the realization hit me, I felt lighter. But I am careful not to overwhelm myself with joy. So I took it slow. And I thought may be I should try changing things one by one now. Things that I so comfortably was used to having/doing and things that I was so comfortably ignoring. Things that have had a symbolic meaning for me have to lose their value. I have to leave it all behind. I have to change someday, or like my guru-friend would say, “evolveā€.

Bring back colours in life

Bring back colours in life

5 thoughts on “Colours!

  1. Glad to know that you are finally letting it go! You did nothing for which you should be ashamed. I stand by my pov on the story and i think it only makes all of us realize that sometimes we make shallow relationships with people who put situations before us. Its important that if something goes wrong we blame the situation and not the person.

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